So, I got this book the other day by my favorite author, Steven James. It's called A Heart Exposed, and it's basically a book filled with prayers. Truthfully, I ordered it because it was a bargain price of around $5. When I started flipping through it, my first thought was "why on earth did I get this? I'm not Catholic, so why do I need a book of prayers?" Ha! However, when I actually started reading it, the words of each prayer have seriously touched my soul and given me more insight into how the reflection of my own heart must look to God based on my prayer life. Amazing!!
What I find today is the deep significance of the metaphor Christians use of being "born again". I've never given it a second look....reborn, born again, blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, I'm saved. In fact, I've been known to joke about it to my friends a time or two. But, today is different. When I sit and ponder, I find myself developing a new attention to the phrase "born again". Going through childbirth myself, I now see why this comparison is used. James writes "We are so deeply asleep, so deeply dead that if we're ever going to wake up, ever going to be born again, we need you to prod us where it hurts." Birth is a painful and yet beautiful process. It's ugly, irritating, confusing, repulsive, and it's feeling like your entire body is going to explode while pushing this new life out of a tiny hole. We, as women, continue through the excruciating pain, the tears, the intense labor, the messiness, the horrific process, because when it's all finished, we know the beautiful life that awaits us. So beautiful that we cannot describe in words. When the new life is born, it changes us forever for the better, and so we persist through the pain to get to the "reward." Wow!! Now I get it!! In fact, I get it 2 or 3 different ways:
1. This is what it means to be "born again" in Christ. Jesus birthed us. He went through the ugliness, the horrid process, the ultimate pain, to get us. It's insane to think that He did that for me...that He thought I was worth it. I absolutely believe my kids are worth all the pain I went through to get them here. No doubt. But, the fact that God sent His son to go through that process for me? A dirty sinner? I seriously can't comprehend it. What a humbling revelation...
2. Babies depend on their caregiver for everything!! So, when we go through the process of being "born again", this is what is expected of us, too....to depend on God to meet ALL our needs. Babies know they'll be taken care of, and they are relying on mere humans. How much more should we rely on God? Most of us just accept the gift of salvation (being born again), and move straight to the terrible twos of wanting to do everything ourselves, and where listening to authority is a foreign concept. Not only does this rob God of our infant phase, the phase that most new mothers treasure the most because of the purity and simpleness of it, and getting to know the new life and all the wonders, sweetness, and preciousness of it growing, but it also robs us of the opportunity for God to begin teaching us from the get-go! I am regularly guilty of acting toward God how my two year old acts toward me....not listening, defying, and wanting to control everything.
3. The final thing that comes to mind when I think of being reborn, is that it can be a complicated process from my end, too. As in normal childbirth, it can be painful for the baby to go through the process as well. Sometimes babies come out red, with coneheads, with fetal distress, learning how to breathe on their own, bright lighting, etc. We don't really know exactly how painful it is to a newborn because they can't tell us, but now that I think about it, I can only imagine. Becoming a Christian is that way, too. It's difficult, and painful, and complicated. It's leaving the security of our old life (the womb), and traveling into the unknown with the trust that we're still going to be taken care of....even after the birthing process is over. It'd be easier, sure, to stay in the womb, but then we'd only experience life from that perspective. Oh, how much beauty is awaiting for those that leave the womb, and enter this new life!!
James finally notes "Guide me toward my new birth, and end this stillborn life." Hmmm....that's what I want. I don't want to feel dead. As a "born again" Christian, I don't want Christ to suffer for me and get nothing from me in return. I don't want Him to feel the pain and loss that I felt when I had my stillborn children. It was the most devastating thing I have ever experienced. That being said, if I commit to Christ, and He goes to hell and back for me, then I end up spiritually "dead" (or apathetic) upon being reborn, I am intentionally inflicting upon God the most horrific thing I have experienced personally. Why would I do that? And yet, I find myself in these states more than periodically. It's nuts. I AM reborn, and I need to start living as if I am.
