Well, it's finally
here! Today is Paisley's last day at her "special school" (Behavioral Innovations)!! BI is a treatment center/school that provides ABA therapy 8 hrs a day for children with Autism, Asperger's, PDD, or any other similar behavioral or developmental disorders. It has been an amazing opportunity, and the people and therapists have always treated Paisley with love, kindness, and respect. This is a major plus for us since she can't really communicate what happens to her during the day. We've never once worried that she was being mistreated, picked on or bullied, or harmed in any way while there. We've always been sure that she is completely safe at BI. So, in one aspect, leaving the place and setting Pais out in the "real world" is very frightening as her parents, but also a huge positive step.
Paisley began therapy at BI when she was 2. She is now 6. The most common
question people ask Michael and I both is, "Has it been worth it?" This question is a bit insulting to us (as if we've just been wasting our time the last four years trying to provide the best life we can for P), but we know that people are just curious when they ask and don't really understand all the intricate processes we go through on a daily basis. Although a very difficult question to answer, I will attempt it anyway. So, here goes:
The future is
hard to quantify, and so is success. We hope we have given Paisley the
best start to a bright future that we can through early intervention. What has she
accomplished?? Gosh...so many things! Things that seems so mundane to
us "neurotypicals." Things like saying "hi", acknowledging when someone
walks in the room, playing with toys instead of lining up water bottles,
imaginary play, laughing, transitioning from one activity to the next
without a meltdown, feeling less anxious about every aspect of life.
Other things include: hugging people other than her mom and dad, playing
appropriately with her sister, learning to share, eating with utensils,
tolerating the presence of animals, drinking more than apple juice,
walking into a store without a meltdown, tolerating different
environments, making verbal sounds, watching more than "Miss Spider" on
TV, coloring pages, being potty trained, tolerating her hair and teeth
being brushed, eating a larger variety of food, tolerating unfamiliar textures, and the list goes on and on and on. These things are all
stuff that children over time naturally learn. However, none of it has come
naturally for Paisley. She has worked EXTREMELY hard to accomplish all
these things and more. Not because she's not intellectually capable (there's nothing wrong with her IQ), but because her brain is wired differently than ours. You see, Autism traps children in a different
world. Their own world. A world that is so different and so lonely and
so frustrating because no one can understand even their most basic
needs. ABA therapy has helped us unlock that world and Paisley is
slowly climbing her way out thanks to all the love and support of those
that have championed for her. She's still very limited in verbal
capacity, but the difference between the past and now is that she
definitely communicates her needs. Verbal dialect is very difficult for her,
but she is talking more and finding more words daily. In fact, just
last night we were trying to cross a busy traffic intersection, and she
sees all the cars and shouted "Look out, look out!" So, when people
ask if it's been worth all the financial, physical, mental, emotional
and spiritual challenges, I just look at them dumbfounded. Because of
course it has!! Is it a quantifiable worth? No. Would I do it again?
Absolutely. When I signed up to be a parent, I made a commitment to do
whatever it takes to help my children succeed in life. That doesn't
change because it's tough. When you're a parent, you don't get to whine about it. You just do what you gotta do and praise God for the opportunity to get to do it.
It's also worth mentioning our 3 year old's part in this whole process. Claire is Paisley's
biggest cheerleader. She has been dragged to therapy after therapy,
countless doctors' waiting rooms, spent crazy amounts of time in the car going back and
forth, and has seen all the ups and downs of Autism. She
rejoices with us over every little milestone, and has helped Pais with various things more times than I can count. Although she's the younger sister, she's constantly worried about Paisley's safety and is very protective of her. And...not once has
she ever complained about it. She wasn't even born when we started this
journey, so she doesn't know much different, but she could still be
really resentful and mean to Pais from all the extra attention Pais gets
if she wanted. But, she doesn't. You know...she's just awesome. We
couldn't ask for a better sister for Paisley, nor a kinder, sweeter
daughter. This is a big day for Paisley, but it's a big day for Claire, too. She's been a great sport about it all!
So, to sum it all up, it's been a
very loooonnng journey. Good times, bad times, but worth every
second. It would take all day to tell you everything I've learned these last 4 years. I won't bore you with all that. However, I will tell you my
favorite moment of all that has come from all the hard work. The
moment when Paisley came up to me completely spontaneously, gave me a
hug and a kiss, and said " I love you" as clear as water. That second, in
and of itself, has made the last 4 years "worth it".
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| Paisley's first day at BI (age 2) |
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| Paisley's last day at BI (age 6) |
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